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Her shadows. by ~Blissfulbutterfly:iconBlissfulbutterfly:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Human Nature > Open


Her shadows dance in silent procession.
Gently jolting, softly swinging;
Scandalously drawing her attention .
Shadows -
As if trying to get her to live
Again.

Yet she sits with memories of
kisses in the dark.
Foolishly hoping to hold on to what
spilt away.
Waiting for death now,
to play his part.

Creator of her shadows;
A candle with
its diminutive flame.
Swaying slowly, silently
Engulfing the darkness around it.
As love once
Engulfed her pain.

Tears of flame now can not be stopped
As they blaze down her cheeks;
Heart scorched in pain.

Her shadows are no longer dancing.
Sadly staring
As she lets the darkness
Devour her
soul.

Her shadows - hopeless prisoners.
©2006-2009 ~Blissfulbutterfly
:iconblissfulbutterfly:

Author's Comments

A poem basically about what can happen when someone is depressed.

Comments


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:iconalienkie:
~alienkie Aug 12, 2006, 9:35:35 AM
This is beautiful. I especially like the last stanza. This is a very visual poem...like I can see what's happening. very good

--
"If you think you have a foolproof system, you've failed to take into consideration the creativity of fools"
:iconjedfire:
=Jedfire Aug 12, 2006, 9:37:42 AM
i really like the imagery the piece evokes, and the descriptive content- sadly beautiful and poignant. Well done!

--
you are welcome to visit my gallery [link]
#Jingulus
#FlashMob
:iconjedfire:
=Jedfire Aug 12, 2006, 9:56:57 AM
im going to put a few suggestions in this different comment box, so you can hide it after reading it. I think some of what PoetessLaureate did rubbed off on me!lol well maybe not that bad. On the second line, "moving"could be replaced with a more descriptive verb, maybe something like "skipping"; i think there might be a typo in the 5th line- "to live again"?; "Tears or flames" seems a little awkward, maybe "tears of flame can not be stopped"? i love the word blaze, too- its such a cool word; "its pain scorched her heart" somewhat awkward, maybe "Heart is scorched in pain" would work?
Any way, please don't hate me - i really think its a beautiful poem! You know how i feel about you, BlissfulButterfly :hug:

--
you are welcome to visit my gallery [link]
#Jingulus
#FlashMob
:iconblissfulbutterfly:
~Blissfulbutterfly Aug 12, 2006, 5:05:45 PM
Thanks for that Jedfire, i wrote this at say 2 in the morning and some of those lines you commented on were bothering me too so i changed it alittle.
There were two typos "tears of flame." and "to live again", thanks for spotting them, thanks for everything :hug:

--
Thy frienship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy for friendship's sake. - William Blake.
:iconblissfulbutterfly:
~Blissfulbutterfly Aug 12, 2006, 5:26:51 PM
Thank you :)

--
Thy frienship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy for friendship's sake. - William Blake.
:iconjedfire:
=Jedfire Aug 12, 2006, 6:07:11 PM
no problem, always glad to help :)

--
you are welcome to visit my gallery [link]
#Jingulus
#FlashMob
:iconglitterati:
~Glitterati Aug 13, 2006, 6:29:37 PM
I like the words you used. Like 'engulfed' and 'diminutive'. Those are good words.

--
It just glitter lust
:iconblissfulbutterfly:
~Blissfulbutterfly Aug 13, 2006, 6:45:19 PM
Thank you :) ...i like the word engulfed too!..weirdness :D

--
Thy frienship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy for friendship's sake. - William Blake.
:iconironbru:
~ironbru Aug 21, 2006, 3:34:15 AM
Aww I love the words you have used. So beautiful poem. Well done
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